TrulyDateable.com

By Jason Mark Hulott

Different ethnic and racial groups across the world have different ideas about how to mate. Some countries don’t permit freedom in dating at all. But for groups that do have permissive dating rules, the Internet has a dating site for them. African-Americans have their own sites. Pagans have their own dating sites. Asian dating sites exist as well. But as with all ethnicities, Asians have a very different approach to dealing with dating. This has to do with the belief systems of the Asian people.

Dating an Asian person can be an eye-opening experience. It can expand the mind as well. Especially for Westerners who have never been exposed to another culture. Tradition in Asian countries is a very powerful thing. Among the differences between Asians and “Westerners”:

*Gender roles are more defined in Asia than in the West. Men are the providers. The protectors. Women support the men, taking care of their needs. This doesn’t mean men dominate. Relationships are quite respectful. It simply means that sex roles are more standardized than in other places.

*Family is paramount. Dates are brought home to meet the parents. These meetings can determine the future of the relationship. If a parent doesn’t like a date, that is the end of it. Traditionally, Asian countries relied on arranged marriages. Parents would choose their children’s mates. Often, the decision was made based on status. Or family honor. The children accepted it or learned to accept it. Fortunately, things are different now. But family still plays a large role in whom their children date. And marry. Therefore, Asian parents need to be recognized as part of the process.

*Culture is everything to the traditional Asian family. The Asian culture has a lot of yearly celebrations, just as Westerners do. The difference is that children in Asia don’t get out of going to family get-togethers. So those dating Asians need to understand that they will be expected to join in the festivities. As possible, of course.

*Think long-term. Traditionally, dating is a lot more formal in Asia than in the West. The goal is long-term. Maybe marriage. Those wanting a short jaunt with a lot of physical contact are barking up the wrong tree, so to speak. Asian dating is nothing frivolous.

It is helpful to note that these differences in culture are based on perception. Some Asians have lived in the West so long they have lost some of that tradition. Their values reflect that. They often date many people. They may be open to gender-role differences. But don’t expect that. Culture runs deep, and though an Asian person might not follow one tradition from their heritage, they may others.

Asian dating isn’t any more complex than dating anywhere else. Each culture has its expected dating process. And expectations. Traditional Asian culture will take precedence over Western culture most of the time. Simply respecting the differences between the two very different peoples will help things go more smoothly. People may even find that the two cultures combine to form a very fruitful union. A relationship like this only serves to make the world seem smaller.

About the Author: Jason Hulott is Director at UK Dating Online, an online dating website with reviews of the major dating services as well as lots of useful articles, resources and tips to help you make the most of your dating experience.

* I thought this article was especially perceptive in pointing out sensitive areas of courtship and dating in the Asian culture. While young Asian/Asian America adults may be fully “Westernized” in terms of dating and relationships, their parents and older relatives maystill have traditional expectations that should be respected. This is often the central theme of novelist Amy Tan’s books.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=238721&ca=Dating

Continuing on with Christian Carter's 10 Mistakes Women Make With Men…

Misreading The Important “Signals” Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.

Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life – stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"

3) Physical: If he's attracted to you… and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.

That's great news to women…

Men can't help it!

You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early

Christian Carter, author of Catch Him and Keep Him, explains that another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Listen…

Attractive, single, successful men are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from women.

Most women don't realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.

And guess what?

Attractive men have usually dated a lot of women.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything…

It's a woman who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the man that you're just like one of those "clingy" stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way…

Next – Mistake #5: Misreading the Signals Men Send

In a youth obsessed culture, it can be difficult to accept that no matter what you do, you’ll never again have the face or body you had when you were young.  Yet accepting yourself as you are and feeling confident with who you are is a vital component of a good self image.  This article puts the issue in perspective.

by Donna Deming, MSW

Middle age can be a challenging time for dating and yet at the same time you may feel exhilarated to get out there and meet people. Unfortunately the media wants to snuff out your excitement because you no longer look 20 years old. Next time you turn on your television you are likely to see ads telling you that in order for you to be seen as attractive you must be young or at least looking younger than you actually are.

These advertisers have products that will magically change a 55 year-old face to look like a 20 year-old face. I know you are not going to want to hear this but the truth is no creams or gels are going to stop the aging process, you know this anyway. If that’s true, why do so many middle-aged people keep buying these products and spending so much money on trying to look young? Hey, what’s wrong with looking your age anyway?

During middle age men and women begin to feel a loss of control over their physical appearance. They still feel the same on the inside while their outer body is changing. Unfortunately these physical changes can negatively impact your self-esteem.

To understand what you are feeling inside, keep in mind our culture worships youth and beauty and is even obsessed with it. The youth obsessed culture hits women’s self-esteem much harder than men. Did you ever notice how many television shows have the older distinguished looking man hooking up with a beautiful woman much younger than he is?

At the same time derogatory jokes are told about the middle-aged woman’s body and supposed lack of attractiveness to men. Consider how women are bombarded by these messages everyday. It makes a woman want to through the television right out the window!

So what do you do about it? For starters stand up for yourself and consciously reject the messages. Don’t let the media interfere with way you view yourself. Remember they are just trying to sell you creams and cosmetics. Why feel ashamed over an aging body. We cannot control the aging process and it is important to remember no one escapes the process. This is a natural part of the human life cycle.

The second step is to look inside yourself and admire the beautiful qualities you have. Focus on the inner person you are. Middle age can be a good time to clarify for yourself just what your values are. Look at all of the talents you have developed and the wisdom you have acquired during your life. Remember you bring this rich body of experiences and wisdom to your relationships.

In middle age we are never going to be able to meet the standards of beauty as defined by the media and our youth obsessed culture. So let’s nourish and love our selves and our bodies and deepen our individual self-respect. Once we feel good about who we are we will feel more confident when dating and we will attract someone who shares our values and view of the world.
Copyright 2008 Donna Deming

 
About the Author
Donna Deming, MSW is a life coach who specializes in assisting people with midlife transitions. http://www.BreakThroughLifeCoaching.net.

This is a spot-on article for those who would really like to find a partner, but are reluctant to dive back into the dating scene.  Well, you are not alone…

by Angela Tay

For whatever reasons that you may be single again, it could be a long time since you last went out with someone new. Deep down, are these the fears that you might be facing and keeping to yourself?

1.  I just can’t do it. I’ll never meet someone again.

This is absolutely not true. There are many people out there looking for a connection as well. It largely depends on whether you take the initiative to get out and make know someone new. Do give yourself a chance as well as giving others a chance of knowing you. Just make sure you have given yourself enough time to heal before you go back out there, if you just had a break up. An unsuccessful relationship does not mean you will not be able to find someone again. It can be scary at first at meeting new people, but you should be much wiser and experienced now and should be able to avoid the mistakes you have made in the last relationship.

2.  I don’t know where I can meet new people

If you have a small social circle, you can consider online dating to get out of your comfort zone. Especially if you are always busy at work or always hanging around with the same group of friends where everyone eligible is attached or married. Joining new hobby or networking groups can also give you the chance of meeting somebody new. Be proactive. If you meet someone whom you might be interested in, create your own chances of knowing them instead of playing the waiting game.

3.  I fear being rejected. I also fear having to reject someone I don’t fancy.

Rejection is part and parcel of dating. Just remember that most of the time, it is not personal, it’s just life’s selection process! If you are rejected, it could be a blessing in disguise as the person you are keen on may not be the best for you. If you move on graciously, you might find someone who is more worthy of your love instead of hovering around the person trying to change his mind. If you have to reject someone, it could be a sticky issue to deal with in the beginning, but you are actually releasing this person to someone else who could appreciate him or her more. You are actually doing them a favour in telling them not to waste any more time or efforts on you.

4.  Women are only looking out for young hunks

Women are in the search for a relationship with men who can click with them. Looks does matter in the initial phase, but over time women want someone whom they can count on long term. Sometimes, you may find it strange why women would pick a middle-aged pot-bellied man over a handsome young hunk. It all boils down to how women feel comfortable and secure in your company. Women are also usually more attracted to average looking men who are financially stable and dependable, than good looking men who are always in and out of jobs.

5.  Men are only dating the young and hot babes

Men date all sorts of women, young and old, as long as they are attractive enough for them. Sometimes men like mature ladies for their intelligence, independence and their sex appeal. Some young girls of their age may be too childish and whiny to their liking. As long as a woman is attractive and well groomed, age is not a big issue with most men. What matters more is how well they can communicate and how well they can relate to you.

If you are hoarding these fears deep down in your heart, it’s time you find ways of overcoming them. Only when you are able to release these fears, you are able to embrace the journey of getting back into the dating scene again. Give yourself a second chance of finding the special love of your life!

About the Author
Discover the secrets to understanding what men and women want at the Recommended resources of http://yourloveangel.blogspot.com!